TGIF!!! Have a good'n! You'll find me here dozing in a chair at the foot of the bed. I picked up a John Grisham book, "The Street Lawyer" to pass the time. But, it's been kinda hard to get into it so far. It's been almost impossible to wrap my brain around anything beyond the immediate situation here. I keep wondering what we could have done differently that would have changed the course of what's happening and I keep drawing a blank! Just not enough information I guess. There are always a lot of "what ifs" but I've come to the conclusion that even though we like to think we're in control, we're just players in a game that is much bigger than we are. Damn it! She's going downhill way too fast! We just found out what the problem is and it's too late to do anything about it!!!!! CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wish drinking myself numb was an option!
Mr. Ed I wish there was something I could say that would help ease your pain. I understand the frustration of not being able to do anything for your loved one. Even if we know in our hearts it is the right thing to do. it is never the easy thing to do.
Mariposa - Thank you. She was awake for a short time a little while ago but I'm not sure what's going on this morning. She smiled several times when I talked to her but didn't seem very aware of anything else. The doctors will be in in a little while & maybe I'll find out some more. As much as I dread the thought of losing her, I hate the thought of her suffering even more. Right now she doesn't seem to be in any pain but I know in my gut that she's very close to the end.
In the meanwhile, I've gotten about a fourth of the book read. I may have to go back and reread it though because I couldn't tell you what it's even about.
Oh Happy, Happy FRIDAY!!! SERIOUSLY!!!! No MORE wet blankets... no matter what! But, even though I won't get any, I need some sleep. But I may jump out to the motel for a shower & shave and get something to eat in a little while. It seems like a week since I've done any of those things but it was actually only yesterday. ☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Our poster child cover pic is a Killdeer... a type of plover that is fairly common in the swamp. It is a ground nesting bird that usually does so in a rocky area next to a pond or stream. It uses small pebbles to make its nest and lines the bottom with twigs and grass. The eggs are very difficult to see. When alarmed, they do a very good imitation of a broken wing to distract the threat. Baby Killdeer don't have to fly to fledge... they just walk out of the nest. The babies are absolutely adorable and can do the broken wing routine although I've never understood why since they would be the obvious target. They absolutely MAX OUT the cuteness meter!
Auntie Em is in a coma according to the doctors. I’m not sure when that happened but it might have been a few hours back. I’ve been holding her hand & talking with her most of the day while she was awake. She has been very relaxed all day with me by her side. She has been pretty lucid but was having problems with her words. I remember her saying to me that she couldn’t see me very well so I moved my chair a little closer and kept talking with her. She wanted to know what kind of a day we had for weather and then she squeezed my hand. She got quiet after that and I figured she was asleep again. I was still holding her hand when the doctors came in for their evening check and determined she was in a coma. They don’t know if she’ll come back out of it but they think the end will come soon… possibly within a day. So, I’ll just stay here with her for whatever occurs next. I don’t think she will need help but I need to be here just in case…
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5 comments:
TGIF!!! Have a good'n! You'll find me here dozing in a chair at the foot of the bed. I picked up a John Grisham book, "The Street Lawyer" to pass the time. But, it's been kinda hard to get into it so far. It's been almost impossible to wrap my brain around anything beyond the immediate situation here. I keep wondering what we could have done differently that would have changed the course of what's happening and I keep drawing a blank! Just not enough information I guess. There are always a lot of "what ifs" but I've come to the conclusion that even though we like to think we're in control, we're just players in a game that is much bigger than we are. Damn it! She's going downhill way too fast! We just found out what the problem is and it's too late to do anything about it!!!!! CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wish drinking myself numb was an option!
Mr. Ed I wish there was something I could say that would help ease your pain.
I understand the frustration of not being able to do anything for your loved one. Even if we know in our hearts it is the right thing to do. it is never the easy thing to do.
Mariposa - Thank you. She was awake for a short time a little while ago but I'm not sure what's going on this morning. She smiled several times when I talked to her but didn't seem very aware of anything else. The doctors will be in in a little while & maybe I'll find out some more. As much as I dread the thought of losing her, I hate the thought of her suffering even more. Right now she doesn't seem to be in any pain but I know in my gut that she's very close to the end.
In the meanwhile, I've gotten about a fourth of the book read. I may have to go back and reread it though because I couldn't tell you what it's even about.
Oh Happy, Happy FRIDAY!!! SERIOUSLY!!!! No MORE wet blankets... no matter what! But, even though I won't get any, I need some sleep. But I may jump out to the motel for a shower & shave and get something to eat in a little while. It seems like a week since I've done any of those things but it was actually only yesterday. ☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Our poster child cover pic is a Killdeer... a type of plover that is fairly common in the swamp. It is a ground nesting bird that usually does so in a rocky area next to a pond or stream. It uses small pebbles to make its nest and lines the bottom with twigs and grass. The eggs are very difficult to see. When alarmed, they do a very good imitation of a broken wing to distract the threat. Baby Killdeer don't have to fly to fledge... they just walk out of the nest. The babies are absolutely adorable and can do the broken wing routine although I've never understood why since they would be the obvious target. They absolutely MAX OUT the cuteness meter!
Auntie Em is in a coma according to the doctors. I’m not sure when that happened but it might have been a few hours back. I’ve been holding her hand & talking with her most of the day while she was awake. She has been very relaxed all day with me by her side. She has been pretty lucid but was having problems with her words. I remember her saying to me that she couldn’t see me very well so I moved my chair a little closer and kept talking with her. She wanted to know what kind of a day we had for weather and then she squeezed my hand. She got quiet after that and I figured she was asleep again. I was still holding her hand when the doctors came in for their evening check and determined she was in a coma. They don’t know if she’ll come back out of it but they think the end will come soon… possibly within a day. So, I’ll just stay here with her for whatever occurs next. I don’t think she will need help but I need to be here just in case…
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